I’m not going to be naive to think that physical attraction doesn’t play a part in any relationship. We all can agree though that this is truer at the very start of a relationship, right? After all what do both men and women do when we are trying to court each other? We put our best foot forward. We may work out and get in better shape. We dress nicer and take more time to make ourselves presentable. Then we go out on the town for a nice dinner, dancing, and then maybe some dessert.
If all you’re looking for is something more surface level you can stop reading right here. My work though is aimed at getting people to that deeper quality connection. From that woman who wants to start your relationship strong and build a solid foundation. To that woman who is in a long term committed relationship feeling a longing for closeness.
Now when you find that man who wants more than just that physical intimacy and wants a relationship. After all, being loved is that basic human need for survival for both men and women. This is where you have the power to help fan that flame. No matter what stage your relationship is in.
You are the prize. You must see value in yourself. During my work as an emergency counselor, I understand that we are our own worst critics. Men who fall for women not only appreciate their imperfections, but also we find it even more attractive when you strive to take care of yourself. I think of my one friend. While she certainly isn’t that “skinny twig” that most women think men want, she runs her own exercise classes that help fuel her positivity. Think of the old saying, “your vibe attracts your tribe.” Positive energy and thoughts will yield overall positivity. Whatever you do, Don’t compare yourself to another woman. It’s not fair to you and you’ll set yourself up for failure. Now that we have set this set keep this next fact in mind . . .
If He Doesn't Work for Your Relationship, He Won't Value It!
What men value most are those things they have to work hard to get.
Hand a man a college diploma, and he won't value it as much as if he'd had to put in years of study and effort to earn it.
Hand a man the perfect girlfriend, and he won't value her as much as if he'd had to woo her for weeks just to get her to go out with him.
This is why playing hard to get works.
But, as you've probably already noticed...
There's a BIG problem with playing hard to get. That strategy stops working once he's actually got you.
So what can you do?
Unleash his hero instinct, and the three things you can start doing today.
1. Ask a guy for help.
Ask him for advice on buying a new computer. Ask him to listen to that weird rattling sound that's started up in your car. Ask him to reach something on the top shelf.
Then thank him warmly, with a great big smile of appreciation.
No, that doesn't make you needy. It makes you a woman with space for a man in her life.
2. Take pleasure in male company.
Guys love women who appreciate men for just being men.
So what if his apartment is a shrine to sports? So what if he spends hours on his fantasy football team? So what if his idea of a clean shirt is the one with the fewest wrinkles?
He's a guy. It's okay. You don't need him to be more like you, because you've got the feminine side of the gender equation covered.
3. Let him earn your respect.
Superheroes love challenges. They don't want to be given a gold medal just for showing up. They don't want your love handed to them on a plate. They want to earn it.
There's one thing they crave even more than a woman's eternal enduring love: A challenge.
So, give him opportunities to prove himself. You don't have to do the work of winning him over.
Sit back, relax, and allow him the pleasure of winning your admiration.
What do I do next?
I have identified the underlying problem and gave you some ideas on how to start to fix it. With modern technology more and more women are turning to self-help resources. This program will help you unlock his hero instinct and help you develop or rekindle that love. Also professional relationship coaches are available to help tailor fit a program to fit your needs. Think of them like your professional girl friend who you can go to for advice that will give it to you real world style.
References:
Article: How to build a quality connection with your man.
Alison Wood Brooks, Francesca Gino, Maurice E. Schweitzer. “Smart People Ask for (My) Advice: Seeking Advice Boosts Perceptions of Competence.”
Harry's Masculinity Report 2018
Article: Do Looks matter in a relationship?
Article: Here’s What High Quality Men want in a woman
Article: 17 things men find very attractive in a woman.